First of all, this is all gigoid’s fault. If he wouldn’t have used a few quotes from Lazarus Long in his Pearling today, then I wouldn’t have rummaged through my bookshelf to find and read “The Notebooks of Lazarus Long” by Robert A. Heinlein.
There is some truly brilliant stuff in there. Here’s a few that resonated deeply for me. I thought I’d share, for you to ruminate over.
“Stupidity cannot be cured with money, or through education, or by legislation. Stupidity is not a sin, the victim can’t help being stupid. But stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death, there is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity.”
“God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent – it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash and in small bills.”
“There are hidden contradictions in the minds of people who ‘love Nature’ while deploring the ‘artificialities’ with which ‘Man has spoiled “Nature.”‘ The obvious contradiction lies in their choice of words, which imply that Man and his artifacts are not part of ‘Nature’ – but beavers and their dams are. But the contradictions go deeper than this prima facie absurdity. In declaring his love for a beaver dam (erected by beavers for beavers’ purposes) and his hatred for dams erected by men (for the purposes of men) the ‘Naturist’ reveals his hatred for his own race – i.e., his own self-hatred.
In the case of ‘Naturists’ such self-hatred is understandable; they are such a sorry lot. But hatred is too strong an emotion to feel toward them; pity and contempt are the most the rate.
As for me, willy-nilly I am a man, not a beaver, and H. sapiens is the only race I have or can have. Fortunately for me, I like being part of a race made up of men and women – it strikes me as a fine arrangement and perfectly ‘natural’.
Believe it or not, there were ‘Naturists’ who opposed the first flight to old Earth’s Moon as being ‘unnatural’ and a ‘despoiling of Nature.'”
The first quote I love because of course we all know stupid can’t be fixed, but this offers hope that it will terminate itself. All we can hope for is that stupid will terminate prior to reproducing.
The middle one is just beautiful.
The last one appeals to me particularly on the level where people buy into this “oh, it’s natural, so it must be good for me” propaganda BS. For those who would drink that Kool-Aid, I offer them instead some nice all-natural Hemlock tea. None for me though, thanks, I like my life.
There are lots of other gems in the book. It’s worth having. Not sure if the Kindle version has the gorgeous calligraphy and illuminations.
Some days, I really wonder about the senders of junk e-mail. No. Not some days, all days. It just happens some days I give it more thought than others. Today. Right now for example.
I mean I love the Dear Sir/Madam generic pleas for aid. You know the one’s where they need my help to launder the money their rich Father/Prince/Husband left them. Because if they are too scared to touch that imaginary money, I certainly want to stick my neck out for that pretend currency. Leave me be and let me get back to playing Monopoly, where I can feel my funny money crinkle in my hands.
The foreign lotto e-mails are fun too. They give me that momentary jolt of “I won, I won”… I jump up and down in my chair for a quarter of a nano-second. Not so much. Oh, that’s right this is for all those lotteries in other countries I never entered when I never went there. Who would have thought my chances for winning would be that high?
The one that’s just amusing as all get to me right now is one I keep getting from BeachBitch27 with a subject of I Found You. And I should care about that why? Another good one is Julie with a subject of Where were you?… now that one did get me to click it open. For some reason I failed to click on any links though. It wasn’t the Julie I was thinking of, or any of the other three I know and communicate with occasionally. HottieGirl19 subject Chat With Me… hmmmm, no. Any girl who refers to herself as a ‘Hottie’ is unlikely to be in any conversation I find interesting. Yeah, I’m being snarky, so what.
These are all from yesterday and today. Granted I do have five different e-mail addresses that I monitor regularly. These examples are from just two of them though.
What are your current favorite junk e-mails?
All right, I’ll bite. Everyone else is writing about the holiday this weekend. As it happens it is my favorite holiday. I’ll even tell you why…
For starters, the candy. All kinds of chocolate. Wrapped up in pretty pastel pinks and blues. Chocolate bunnies. Plastic eggs filled with jelly beans. Oh, yeah it’s all good for at least ten pounds extra.
Next are the Peeps. I know they are candy. Really, though they get their own separate mention here. Because, I say they deserve it. The fact that they are better when they are stale. You can have Peeps wars or Peeps jousting. I saw an awesome picture of a Peeps show, one little Peeps bunny was pole dancing while another was shaking her booty. Plus now they come in sooooo many pretty colors. It’s not just yellow Peeps anymore. They got pink and blue and even purple now. Peeps are just awesome. Yes they have them for other holidays now too, but the Easter Peeps are the originals.
My third reason is that once my birthday fell on Easter. I was very young, like two or maybe three. I just knew that not everybody got to have their birthday on a holiday. So, it was just proof to me that I was more specialer than any body else. Plus my mom made me a cake that looked like a bunny with coconut fur and everything. Oh, and there were more jelly beans.
Finally my last reason why Easter is my favorite holiday. It wins the best appropriation of a pagan celebration by Christianity award. Halloween is fun and all, but it isn’t fully embraced. Christmas makes a good run at being the best, but it just falls short for me. I mean there’s some parallels with looking for the light and such that actually tie in pretty well with Winter Solstice. Easter though. We’re talking about taking the celebrations of fertility and prayers to the gods for good crops replete with bunnies and eggs for symbology. Yes I know the word I’m looking for there is symbolism, but I just watched “Boon Dock Saints” so deal with it. Anyhow, we take that stuff mix it with the ultimate sacrifice, coming back from the dead (Zombies anyone?) put a big fluffy bunny in the basket with it and call it a Christian holiday. Awesome. My thought is that if the powers that were way back when this stuff was getting figured out were going to make that many
hops leaps to tie the old pagan celebration with this new stuff, then it must be worth paying attention to. Ok, I can stretch a bit and see the similarity between the earth coming back to life after Winter… but, I still can’t fit the bunnies and eggs and ducks with The Resurrection. So, Easter wins the award.
Plus, I just like Spring.
There you go folks, my reasons for why Easter is the best holiday.
Ooooh, I almost forgot. Egg hunt at my place this weekend.
Really, my hens haven’t been laying in their usual nesting box. There is an old biddy banty that’s gone broody and doesn’t seem to be letting the other hens lay there. Today I only found one egg. That means the others are somewhere. I would like to find them before they smell really bad. I know, not near as much fun as the plastic eggs with jelly beans in them…
My muse that is… she seems to have slipped out when I wasn’t paying attention.
For whatever reason so far this week writing has been… hmmm, struggle is not the word I’m looking for. It’s just been sort of meh, bleh, *sigh*. Ok, *heavy sigh*. It’s only Tuesday too. Last night I stared at the computer for an hour before I just walked away. Not reading, not writing, just there with blank space.
Yesterday I barely got my post in to Horse Nation to meet the deadline we have established. There are parts of the article I’m pleased with, other parts just felt foggy.
Today’s post to just another day out west had a similar foggy feel. Like I couldn’t quite figure out what I was trying to say.
This evening in perusing other corners of the blogdom, I came across several very well written blogs. They were almost taunting me in a way. The authors had managed to say things I want to convey in clear, succinct ways. It bruised my poor fragile ego. No, not really any bruising. Just has me viewing things from another perspective. That’s what I’m going to say at least, since I don’t want to come off as whiny.
Can I have some cheese to go with my whine?
What to do? Push on, I guess. I have never have claimed to be an accomplished writer. It seems I need to view this as a challenge to improve my skills.
Those other blogs had the distinct feeling that they were better, they had beaten me.
How could I let them do that?! What me, competitive? You think maybe I am? Why yes, I am an Aries. Mustn’t let them be better than me. My job is to Win! Damnit!
Oh yes, challenge accepted!
Also, I should probably leave out an offering for my Muse. I think she likes chocolate. And red wine.
Really. I have no idea what I was thinking going to WalMart after noon on a Sunday. It hit me as soon as I pulled into the parking lot. Way too many people. Thankfully it appeared to be RedNeck day, so I figured I could handle it. After all, I can fit in with RedNeck pretty well. So, stepping out of my truck, I didn’t bother to lock it. It is a small town. Plus my truck is of the age where it does not need a fake ID to be served alcohol. Finally, Bruce was along for the ride. Typically, folks who know anything will not fuck with a vehicle that has a cattle dog near it, let alone in it.
Once I got inside I came across another bad sign. The only available cart had a wheel that would lock up. I went to the other entrance just as someone was bringing a bunch of carts back in. The masses seemed to be wandering slowly and aimlessly through the store. I think that’s when their resemblance to zombies struck me. It’s probably why the “Resident Evil” trilogy hopped into my shopping cart.
The main things I needed were dog food and milk. Items that reside at opposite corners of the store. I attempted to navigate through the areas that past experience had taught me would be less populated. However, that took me by the toy section. Then and there I realized that the real threat in case of the Zombie Apocalypse will not come from the fully grown Zombies but from their spawn. You see the fully grown Zombies move in predictable patterns. The little spawn though, they dart around. I nearly punted one like a football. I swear I did not intend to nearly kick the small one. He darted out at me just as my leg was swinging forward. If it weren’t for the training the chickens and cats have given me, I would not have been able to stop in my tracks to prevent from connecting with the wee one. You see the chickens run up to me from odd angles and they and the cats tend to weave through my legs as I’m walking when they believe there is food involved for them. Thankfully, they have trained me well to be mindful of my steps.
Once I had collected the items I needed and was ready to go I chose to use the self-checkout option. There seemed to be the shortest line there and I figured if the store appeared filled with Zombies, the checkers wouldn’t be any better. As I was scanning my items I realized why there weren’t as many people on that end of the checkouts… the kiddie play-land was right there. That’s right all the evil Zombie spawn who had just been sitting in church behaving themselves sounded like a pack of wild animals that had been caged for months only to have been loosed upon the world seconds prior to my approach to the scanner.
Yes indeed the spawn are the true danger. Even their parents know it, that’s why they leave them there while they shop. The noise from the shrieking and screaming was so distracting I nearly forgot how to run my debit card. I have few doubts there was blood being shed somewhere in that small room. It appeared there even was a guard at the entrance, sending the children back into the room if they happened to attempt to escape into the store.
I managed to make it out in one piece. I must never, ever return to WalMart on a Sunday afternoon though. I know I will not be able to take it.